4th of July-Independence Day?

Just in case some of you reading this do not know, the 3rd was the date that Joyce and I set our wedding date.So I guess if we had actually gone ahead with it,I would be on my honeymoon right now! :P No honeymoon for me though.Instead I am at home wondering where all the years went and what the future holds for me. The 4th is significant as well. It is the date when Joyce and I first got together all those years ago.What a journey it has been since that day. There we were...a retail assistant at a bookstore and a polytechnic student...with a bright future ahead of us...look at us now!!
Normally on the 4th,Joyce and I would dress up and go somewhere special to celebrate our special day.Well...I spent mine mostly alone. It was altogether not a day to remember. All my friends were too busy or uncontactable just when I needed a friend most.

I know I should move on and embrace the future that I still have. The mere consolation that I do have however out of the day was that Joyce did SMS me to explain her actions all these weeks and months.

It is sometimes the little things that matter most...

days gone by

Just had a haircut.Now it is really short, some describe it as like a G.I. cut. But I beg to differ.It is not that short.Anyway I think I look better with shorter hair. It...errmm...brings out my ...ummm..features better. Now I can wear my hair flat and dry...or spike it up!! Woo-hoo!!

Having a problem with my fish tank. The water seems rather cloudy and I get get to the root of the problem.I reckon it has something to do with the new root soil I am using or maybe it is cos I din really wash the gravel before putting it in.

Bought a Panasonic X70 phone.Problem is that I am finding it hard to get accesories. I wanna get a handsfree set or a BlueTooth headset.Not to mention a proper casing for the phone.

(note: somehow this posting has been truncated so not everything I wrote is here and I dun remember what I typed..)

live, love, life,lift

- Jackie wants me to join her on a trip to Bintan.Just the 2 of us,sandy white beaches,a wonderful sunrise,sensual massages,swaying coconut trees...bleech!!

-Neeven went for a job interview whilst in KL.If she gets it she will be posted to Dubai (or at least somewhere in the Middle East).She is not likely to get it, but the thought of losing a dear friend like her...*sniff*

- Rachelle...she is back with a vengeance(NOT!).At least the worst is over and maybe now we can get back to where we left off (poopies and burgers).

- Lyn..how could the world be so cruel to one as kind as tis...
Well...she told me a couple of weeks that she was handing in her resignation letter 'very soon'...no sign of it yet :P....not that I am eager to see her go...but I want what is best for my beloved sis...and this is the right thing at the right time....

- Lisa in Shanghai: She cow woman is over there for some business stuff (nope..nothing to do with cows).Now the work part of the trip is over,she is having a ball of a time just chillin out.Can't wait till she gets back...*rubs hands with glee*

- Met Carolyn at church on Sunday.She looked mighty fine.But we said the usual 'we gotta meet up again ..soon' thingy. I just can't understand how a person can say one thing yet do completely the opposite.The ball is in her court...dun drop it...

The Return of the Queen

After much ado and pressing,Joyce finally replied an SMS of mine.

In her SMSes she said that I only called her twice(but I remember over 30 calls being made on that day alone) which she did not reply because she did not know what to say to me.The same logic was also applied to why she did not reply any of my prior SMSes.She said she did not see her importance in my life anymore and that she avoids me as a means of protecting herself.She also said that she is waiting for a 'more visible direction' from me.Other stuff she touched on was how I do not suffer from any lack in companionship to church and that she felt sad that I actually went ahead with Maybel that day and left her with an empty reserved seat.She felt that to protect herself (again) that she would go to church alone despite the fact that she does not enjoy the solitude that it brings.She is tired of taking the lead and demanding from people...

Well..in a way I am glad that she replied finally.At least I can somewhat put this issue to rest.I have little regrets for what happened except for the fact that I may have lost my best friend because she failed to see that all that happened was out of her own doing.

Unrealistic expectations:She wants me to work my life away.That is something I just will not do.There is alot more to life than making money. Sorry dear...

My alibiThat day the only reasons I went to church with Maybel was because
(1)Joyce was helping out at the Children's Church and told me that she would not be able to attend service that day.
(2)Maybel lives very near to where I live and along the route I ply to church every weekend.She so happened to be attending the same service that day so it is only natural that I gave her a lift to church.
(3)I informed Joyce before hand that I was with Maybel at service
(4) Joyce was invited to join us during the church service.
(5)Joyce was invited to join us for lunch after service

I did what I thought was right and gave Joyce every opportunity to be a part of all we did. She declined my invites and is mad that I 'went off with another woman'?

Please give me your subjective opinions on this mess.(I know it is gonna be hard since all you guys love me so much :P)...or maybe not....no point flogging a dead horse

Ole port..

On saturday went to Old Airport Road food centre with Neeven (and Dillon).Was great to see ole Neev again.It seems like we hardly meet up unless for practical reasons like church.She cliams I do not talk much, but I think it has more to do with the places we go and the people we go there with. I am at my best in one-on-one situations,and it seems that the only time we were ever alone together was that first time I joined her at Lighthouse Evangelical and the other time she joined me at NCC.And on both occasions it was kinda rushed events that we never really sat down to chat. I proposed we go and meet and talk over coffee one of these days which Neev readily agreed.As much as I adore Dillon,it is kinda hard to be yourself and go places with a kid in tow.

Food for thought...

the Reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

My happy ending

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be


You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

what a guy wants...

also known as what Leon wants:

1) Someone to share happy times with. Also someone whom I know I can turn to in my times of doubt and when everything else in the worlds seems to be against me.

2) Someone with a sense of humour. The greatest friendships are built upon just being able to be yourself in the company of another. A merry heart worketh like a medicine.

3) A graceful lady who conducts herself as such at all times.I just can't stand women who are so unrefined and pay little attention to the way their actions reflect upon themselves.

4) A girl who enjoys finding new places to go. Life is a journey not a destination. Never a dull moment and always something to look forward to if you know what I mean.

5) A lady who enjoys a good meal and does not eat like a bird or skip meals! I really enjoy conversations over a nice dinner.It is not the same if the other party is nursing her carrot juice whilst you are tucking into your BBQ baby back ribs...

6)Someone with a social conscience. Someone who loves the world she lives in. We do not have enough of such people in this world already. She has to love nature, animals and her fellow man because these are things close to my heart.

7)A balanced lifestyle.I know that in Singapore the rat race is the be all and end all to many of us. But these things are only for the present. What is most important is our family,friends,our God... and of course not forgetting ourselves! I do not want to spend all of life slogging away in a dead-end job and then regreting not having done things I always wanted to do or not having said "I love you" to the people closest to me.

8)My partner has to be a believer.It may sound unfair to some and others may argue that love does indeed conquer all, but any marriage without Christ at the centre of it is doomed to failure in my view.

9) Love me for what I am. I know we are all shaped by our own life experiences and our own expectations of the future.But sometimes you have to give up the things you loves the most (thanks Spidey!).It seems like we live in a world where everything centres around the individual's wants.And often time we knock over those around us to get to where we want to be.I just long to be loved for what I am, warts and all.

10)Spontaneous.I love surprises.I love to expect the unexpected.I like to do stuff on a whim.I do not believe that everything in life should be planned with military precision.A kiss or a hug just for the sake of it will never go amiss as far as I am concerned. A reservation at a posh restaurant just because you feel like it sounds like a fun way to celebrate our love. To come come after a hard day at work and be greeted by my wife dressed in a translucent red...oops...I digress.... :P

11) Special time together. I think it is not too much to ask to have time alone together every once in a while. Sometimes it gets on my nerves when the person I am with wants to bring their dog/mother/sister/nephew/niece/best friend/ex-boyfriend/Al Qaeda member along on dates.

12) Personal space. Everyone of us needs time alone and time to grow.A season to reap and a season to sow. As much as I love you,I still need time to do my own stuff and be with my friends/family. Sometimes I just need time to be by myself and gather my thoughts.It is not that I do not love you.It is just that I miss you more when you are not around. :P

"How to Keep a Woman Happy"

It's not difficult. To keep a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY!!! :

1. Give him lots of sex
2. Feed him well
3. Let him have the remote control
4. Leave him in peace