Perfect love casts out all fear

1 John 4:16-18
16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
19 We love him, because he first loved us.

Having just come back from church and listening to Pastor Prince's message about how human fear limits our blessings from God, I realised that the reason I am not gloriously blessed in all aspects of my life is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of what others think of me. Fear of failure. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of doing too much. Fear of the future. Fear of the past. Fear of the present. Think by now you get the picture.

I worry about whether my wedding plans will come together. Will I have enough money to finance the wedding of Joyce's dreams? How about the venue for the dinner and wedding ceremony? Who to invite? Parental preferences and pressure from relatives do not help the problem.

I sometimes cannot help but feel lonely and helpless although I know that I have friends and family around me to give me support through hard times. A lot of times I feel like Joyce cares more about her career, family and friends than me. It feels like she spends too much time at work and too little time with me. She would cancel plans with me or keep me waiting for her whilst she goes about being with her friends and family or dealing with her own personal matters without regard for me

I do not spend as much quality time with my parents as I should. I resent them for caring more for my two brothers than me. I felt it unfair that they always took Leonard's side in matters although in my mind he was always the one who did me wrong. I feel sore that they never gave me all the things I wanted and needed when I was young.

At work I feel overworked and under-appreciated. I do all that work and no one seems to care how I feel or how I am coping. The only ones that seem to care are the ones who can only do very little to help me.

In my interaction with others I often just keep my wants and needs to myself. I never want to be the one to rock the boat or upset the apple cart. I live my life believing that my problems are no one else's problem but mine. I wish that the people around me would change for the 'better' just to suit me.

All of the above are just some of the feelings I have within me that keep me from enjoying life as much as I should. I think that the problem always lies with the other party. That all my problems are because the people around me are irresponsible and selfish. But are they?

People have their reasons for doing what they do. Humans make mistakes. All of us have flaws and shortcomings. People will surely disappoint you and let you down. Sometimes it is hard to live up to the expectations of others and sometimes even harder still to live up to your own expectations of yourself. So what does one do when disappointments and the pressures of life come around?

Is there ever a person who can live up to all your expectations and never disappoint you? Is there a way to overcome your circumstances and not allow our circumstance to overcome us? The answer lies in love. No ordinary love, not human love which is limited by mood, feelings and emotions. Human love that can never fully satisfy. Human experience dictates that there will always be low points, quarrels, disagreements and moments of miscommunication.

The only love that satisfies and fulfills all our needs is the love of God. The same love of God that sent his only begotten Son to die for a sinful and rebellious world so that all who believe on Him shall not perish in Hell but share eternity in the blessings and peace that comes with being in his Most Holy Presence.

So how does the love of God apply to our daily lives? Does it even make a difference if God loves us? Will God's love change anything or make anything better?

In my personal situations above it seemed like God was far away and distant even from me when I needed Him most. But the reality was that I was not willing to accept that God accepts me as I am and that He had fully paid for all my sins upon Calvary's cross 2000 years ago. I felt that I was not worth dying for and that God's abundant grace was never good enough to wash away all my sins. I would rather dwell in self pity and subject myself to doing without all the things that made me whole than accept God's way for me. I made myself believe that by my own good works and sacrifice that I would attain the peace, comfort and joy of living that somehow never seemed to materialize no matter how hard I tried.

I blamed everyone except myself when things went wrong. I got frustrated when no one understood and no one seemed to care about all the things that were important to me, or so it seemed. But little that I realise that all good things come from God. And that without God's love made a reality each and everyday of my life, that I would never find true happiness and that as long as things remained within my own realm of understanding and abilities that I would never be what God has prepared me to be.

I want to have a lasting and loving relationships with my family. I want a fulfilling and loving life together with my wife and children, a challenging and rewarding career, peace of mind about the future, to have financial security and stability and a very real feeling that God loves me!!

That Jesus loves me so much that He came down to die especially for me that I will never inherit a life that is full of bitterness, pain, sickness, frustrations and fear. That His great love will overcome all my circumstances and turn them for good in the end. That even my enemies would become my friends. That every so-called setback somehow becomes a blessing in disguise. That every difference of opinion between myself and another become not a source of detriment but a source of better understanding and betterment of everyone's lot. That every moment spent with the people I meet be spent in a love that glorifies Christ's kingdom and testifies to His love for me. That when adversity and setback come I face them in the knowing that the battle is the Lord's and that my part is only to believe that he will defeat all that is against me and never leave me nor forsake me in my time of need.

With the reassurance and power of God on my side all my problems seem so insignificant and minute. I now wonder why I feared...is there anything that God's love cannot overcome? God is indeed willing and able to deliver me.....