Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Ah Meng Charged With Oral Sex Offence

Ah Meng, Singapore’s orangutan darling, was charged in court yesterday for performing oral sex, which Singapore’s Penile Code deems an offence against nature punishable with a possible sentence of life imprisonment.



Ah Meng had allegedly performed the act on fellow orangutan Ah Seng in front of dozens of tourists, many of whom felt so shocked that they took plenty of photographs.

Said tourist Buddy Redneck, visiting from Texas, “It ain’t the kind of stuff ya see on National Gee-yo-graphic, but ah guess it’s still, whatchucallit, edjewcashunal. Ah think we can all learn from Ah Meng’s act.”

“Especially my wife,” he added. “When it comes to giving’ a hummer, the bitch totally sucks at it.”

Meanwhile, Singapore Zoological Gardens spokesperson Mrs. Anne Nirmal said, “We were completely blown away by the news that Ah Meng had been caught giving a blow job.”

Ah Meng is pleading not guilty to the act, saying she was merely cleaning her palate after a particularly distasteful breakfast with some tourists. Said Ah Meng’s lawyer, Simian Counsel Hairy Elias, “Ah Meng avers that she was so disgusted from having to kiss some chao ang mor tourist’s ass throughout breakfast that she needed something strong to take away the taste. She simply reached for the nearest source of liquid, which coincidentally happened to be her enclosure-mate.”

Ah Meng is now out on bail of $50,000, which the Zoo paid immediately. Said the Zoo’s Mrs. Nirmal, “It was expensive, but worth it. Ah Meng is a national treasure, and we didn’t want her to get stuck in remand. Anyway, when it comes to oral sex, being with the police is not necessarily the safest place, especially after that sergeant’s case.”

Ah Meng says, however, that she does not fear the upcoming trial, nor the possible custodial sentence. Said her lawyer Mr. Elias, “Look, she’s been raised in a zoo all her life. Why should she be scared of being behind bars?”

Meanwhile, rumours continued to circulate that on hearing the news, pop superstar Michael Jackson expressed interest in purchasing Ah Meng for his private zoo to keep his pet chimpanzee Bubbles company. Mr. Jackson was quoted to have said, “Now that I’m involved in my own sexual perversity trial, someone else needs to blow Bubbles.”

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

*beep*...Your comments are important to us. Please leave your comments after the beep....*beep*

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

~ ~ since 19th December 2008 ~~

~ ~ since 16 June 2007 ~ ~


~ ~ since 19 February 2005 ~ ~


My Other Blogs


My Fav Blogs:



Furries
  • Hamster Hideout
  • Ministry of Pets
  • Singapore Hamster Club
  • Pets.com Forum
  • Rabbit Health
  • The Animal Concerns Research and Education Society (Acres)
  • house rabbit society
  • SPCA Singapore
  • Rabbit care




  • rasslin':
  • PW Torch
  • WWE.com
  • JR's Blog


    nature:
  • Exploration Trails
  • Sunrise-Sunset Times
  • Weather
  • events this week
  • Wild Singapore
  • Nature Society


    movies:
  • Movie Spoiler.com
  • Rotten Tomatoes
  • iFilm
  • Singapore Cinemas
  • www.starwars.com
  • humor experiments
  • thor links
  • movie mania
  • ryoni


    www:
  • Flickr Badge
  • Flickr
  • Blog Things
  • Absolute Backgrounds
  • HardwareZone
  • ZD Net Reviews
  • HTML Colors
  • Blogskins
  • smiley repository
  • glitter graphics
  • flaming text
  • dumpr
  • basehead
  • tiny URL
  • huge URL


    music:
  • iWebMusic
  • Music Video Codes
  • u2exit.com
  • www.u2.com
  • Jewel's Official Website
  • LIVE-the Official Site
  • Sound Buzz
  • Imeem



  • storage:
  • Lock+ Store
  • Storhub Self Storage
  • Store-It


    Travel:
  • Valuair
  • Tiger Airways
  • Air Asia
  • Jet Star Asia
  • Zuji.Com
  • Lonely Planet Online
  • Worldisround-travel pictures



  • food:
  • Makansutra
  • Makantime.com
  • SBestFood.com


    church:
  • New Creation Church
  • Bible.com Online World



  • other stuff:
  • Mobile One
  • Wikipedia
  • How Stuff Works!
  • Talkingcock.com
  • D Storm Entertainment
  • Picures of Me!
  • Dictionary.com
  • Nadia's Picture Page
  • Nat's Picture Page
  • Singapore Girls Galore
  • AskMen.com-Men's Portal



  • Blog Madness:
  • Sarong Party Girl
  • Rambotan
  • Jade Underground
  • Mr Miyagi
  • Shelly
  • Botal Gorilla
  • Bounce Back to Life
  • The Weblog Review
  • Tan Kin Lian's Blog
  • Boing Boing
  • Sheena's Little Fragment's of Time
  • Negativities of a Chronically Vulgar Girl
  • Mic's Life
  • Intoxication
  • Iz Reloaded
  • Simon's World
  • Singabloodypore
  • singapore official porn site
  • B*tchingLOG...not a weBLOG
  • Server Not Found
  • Dying in the Windy City
  • Brose's World
  • Black High Heels of Euphoria
  • Angel of Night
  • If I Could Only See
  • Pet's Paradise
  • Tequila Mockingbird
  • Fifth Annual Weblog Awards
  • Chase me ladies, I'm in the cavalry
  • Going[Wild] & Glowing[Charm]
  • Pei Yun
  • Alvin's Spiel
  • Alvin and Robina
  • Scorpio-The Sexiest Star Sign
  • Let Love lead the Way
  • Desafinado
  • G.marks the spot
  • Penny in a Nutshell
  • Europe
  • Mr Otaku
  • Metroblogging Singapore
  • Alvinology
  • My Photo
    Name:
    Location: Singapore

    Powered by Blogger

    Subscribe to
    Posts [Atom]

    Site Meter