What a girl means when she says :

What a gal says: “Oh, those are the cutest trainers! Where did you get them?” What she really means: “Wow, it’s really admirable of you to shop in your local Oxfam! I prefer Selfridges myself.”

What a gal says: “I am so exhausted this morning! Anyone want to split a triple mocha latte from Starbucks?” What she really means: “My sex life is so active, vibrant, and physically fulfilling as to make yours seem nonexistent by comparison. Plus, I make more than you do, so I can afford to splurge on exotic beverages.” (Note for clueless guys: a “triple mocha latte” is a teaspoonful of black coffee mixed with a quarter of milk and a Hershey’s bar.)

What a gal says: “Like, totally! I completely agree! You did exactly the right thing!” What she really means: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can we talk about my life now?”

What a gal says: “Anyway, so I gave him the number, but it’s not like I expect him to call or anything.” What she really means: “I gave him the number, but notice I didn’t say I gave him my number. I hope the folks in the retirement home go easy on him.”

What a gal says: “So Marcus at the salon says I’m an Autumn, but that can’t be right because I’m always wearing summery clothes. Plus I’m a Gemini, and Gemini is, like, totally a Winter. What do you think?” What she really means: “I hate these uncomfortable silences. Won’t somebody else say something so I don’t have to listen to the sound of random thoughts rattling around inside my skull?”

What a gal says: “You know how it is. All the good ones are either gay or married.” What she really means: “Hey, I have an idea! Maybe if we didn’t spend all our time huddled together like a high-school cheerleading squad, some guy might work up the nerve to actually approach one of us and ask us out on a date!”

What a gal says: “Gosh, I’m not very hungry today. I’ll just have the arugula salad.” What she really means: “Gosh, how can you people live with yourselves? Maybe you wouldn’t have to work out at the gym three times a week if you weren’t always pigging out on cheeseburgers and french fries.” (Note for clueless guys: “arugula” is lettuce, but better-looking and three times as expensive.)

What a gal says (glancing in your direction): “Hey, who’s that geeky guy who keeps looking at us? He’s totally freaking me out.” What she really means: “Hey, who’s that geeky guy who keeps looking at us? He’s totally freaking me out.”