Signs That You’re Spending Christmas in Singapore

1. Ah Lians wondering how come Santa’s elves ”dun look like that hamsum Legolas from Lord of the Rings, ha?”

2. Children who think snow resembles either soap suds or Styrofoam.

3. Lots of small guys in green running around are not elves, but national servicemen.

4. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer detained on suspicion of avian flu.

5. Frosty the Snowman detained for possession of suspicious white substance.

6. Santa Claus is coming to town – but then suay-suay kena detained for questioning on how he entered Singapore territory.

7. Santa later released because he qualifies as ‘foreign talent’.

8. SPGS trying to pick up Santa. Ho! Ho! Ho!

9. EDB trying to lure Santa away from the North Pole to set up his HQ in Singapore – ‘Santapolis’.

10. Santa not the only one dressed in red and white trying to reach out to the young.

11. Santa not the only person watching you to see if you’re ‘naughty or nice.’

12. Chinese New Year decorations up oreddy.

13. Christmas carolers compete in ‘Caroling Idol’.

14. People concerned over whether turkey is ‘heaty’ or ‘cooling’.

15. Dated music awards shows on the english channels.

16. Same old variety shows on the chinese ones.