weekend blues

This was the long awaited Deepavali/Hari Raya weekend. But for me it feels so empty.It is hard to describe how it feels to be in a relationship and yet feel so alone and almost forgotten.

We did not meet on Deepavali. We did not meet on Saturday either. Not to mention today as well. We did meet up on Friday for dinner, and met up for church on Sunday but both of those were non-events. It was almost as though we were on a first date. There was uncomfortable silence, awkward body language and all. It was as though she did not want to be there and was only present because I wanted her to.

I had hoped that after all we went through before that she would have grown up this time around, but it looks like she is still the insecure little girl I used to know.There is still time and there is still hope for us yet, but only if she gets both her feet back on the ground and out of the clouds. Having dreams and ambitions are fine but it should never be at the expense of those you love. She is blessed that the other party in our relationship is me.Any other guy would have given up on her long ago.It can really burn you out being in a relationship where you are never sure of the other persons priorities and commitment.I am so tired and frustrated about the way things are going but I am not the type to give up on those I care about, and I am not about to start now.

I just hope she make the right choice....