Dating Tips From the Animal Kingdom

Can humans learn something about the dating world from animals? If you think your love life could use a boost, take a lesson from lions, tigers, and bears.

Problem No. 1: You can't find anyone eligible

The next time you find yourself complaining that you can't find anyone to date, stop. You're approaching it all wrong. It's not that you can't find anyone suitable: The problem is, no one can find you.

The grizzly bear does not have this problem. Grizzlies start from a much tougher spot than humans. Earth is crawling with people. Grizzlies, on the contrary, are an endangered species.

What's more, they're not exactly social butterflies. They keep to themselves, and they don't make a big scene. And yet, they still manage to hook up. Scientists believe the trick is for the female grizzly to leave a trail for the males to follow. So, if you're sitting in your house watching Dr. Quinn, you're not leaving a trail--except the one between the couch and fridge. Who do you think you're going to meet there?

Grizzlies aren't the only animals that do this. Male tigers spray urine on tree trunks to warn off other males and attract females. Tigers of both sexes also attract each other by roaring loudly. While roaring might not sound fun to you, the point is that tigers aren't moping around the savannah. They're mixing it up and putting their mark on the world--even if it is a stinky one.

Problem No. 2 : You can never tell if he or she likes you

Once you're out of sixth grade and it's no longer cool to have a friend ask your crush if he or she likes you back, gauging a potential romantic partner's interest can be tricky.

A more mature strategy is to try a little generosity and watch for the response. The black-tipped hang fly offers the object of his affection a little food to try and win her over. The lesson? Take someone out to dinner. Order dessert, even. Pay the whole bill yourself. If you watch closely, you'll see signs of interest--or not.

The giraffe is a little less generous, and he pays for it. Bulls (male giraffes) can only tell if a female is receptive by testing her urine. He has to poke at her belly or lick her tail until she provides him with some, which he catches in his mouth and analyzes the scent using his Jacobson's organ to know for sure he's in luck.

Anyone with good sense would do better to simply cough up the cash for dinner. If you're really broke, though, you can make like a flamingo. The male follows the female, indicating with his body language that he's interested in her. Once the female responds by walking along and pretending to eat (after all, he didn't buy her dinner), the male tries to touch her. Eventually, she stops scooting away and spreads her wings, as if to say, "OK. Come and get it."

The lesson here is, if you let people know you're interested, they'll at some point let you know if you stand a chance. And, a little class and generosity could save you from a seriously bad taste in your mouth.

Problem No. 3: You don't have the waistline of a tiny insect

We live in such a vain, vain world. Looks matter for humans, and these days, the look that you see all over the covers of magazines are people with zero body fat. They look like praying mantises, for crying out loud.

You don't have to be thin to be lovable. Just look at the long-jawed spider. The males of this species prefer chubbier female spiders. Scientists think this might be because a plumper spider is closer to releasing her eggs, which is attractive to males because it means they have the best shot at being the father.

So if you don't look like a supermodel, take heart: To someone, you'll look like someone who is attainable. And in the cold of winter, this can be a pretty comforting thing. Unless, of course, you take another lesson from the long-jawed spider. After mating, the female tries to bite the male. Sometimes, she does. And sometimes, she eats him.

It gives the female spider quite a bit of power in the dog-eat-dog, spider-eat-spider world of love. It's a far cry from happily ever after, but it's nice knowing that even if the heart is broken, the stomach is full.