With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

My most favourite song from my most favourite band U2. You can say it is a rather dark song about love and how it sometimes hurts so much to be in relationship where you want out, but find yourself unable to find that strength within to do so.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

Daniel Mallett put it like this:

'U2's With or Without You is a song about how painful life can be. So often we are torn in two by our feelings, thoughts, and actions. We want something, yet it scares us to death. We hate having to say good-bye to someone we love, yet we are relieved somehow when the person is gone. We want to believe, love, and trust in God, yet to do so can mean giving up so much that we can't seem to let go of.
All this inner turmoil wears on the soul, it makes us question why we're ever put here on this earth to suffer on that bed of nails. Why do we love someone so much, yet hate what that might mean to our lives. Why do long to believe in a loving God, yet love to do evil. It hurts, it leaves nothing else to lose, we can't live either way.'

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

I guess that this song is a great song in it's own right. But it really hit home when I faced troubles, confusion and hurt in my previous relationship. Although I loved her with all my heart, I did not get the same love and devotion back. Instead I was made to feel like a lesser man just because she had this so-called goals which overshadowed everything else. But through it all I loved her inspite of herself. At times I wondered why I even bothered in the first place. I even had close friends tell me to forget about her but yet I remained true to her until almost the end. It became a vicious cycle where I got continually hurt and still came back for more. Everytime things went wrong I was the one to apologise and make amends.

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

At time I flirted with the idea of having an affair.There were so many girls out there who appreciated me much more than she seemed to show. Maybe to just dump her and get over with it. But I never actually did those things. I could never understand how I could love someone so dearly despite all her shortcomings,yet never feel loved as much as I needed in return. I got increasingly frustrated and wallowed in self-pity most times.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

I gave up lots of the things that meant the most to me just to satisfy her and maybe somehow she might appreciate all the sacrifices I made for HER. But that never came. For 10 long years I tried and tried but somehow it seemed that the more that time passed the more self-centred she became. But still somehow I still held on to the belief that 'in the end' love would win the day and her cold,cold heart would thaw.

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

The last things she said before we said our last goodbye was that she 'has lost all feelings for me', 'your family is not what a family should be' and that I 'was not a real man'. Fucking bitch. I felt hurt but said nothing and just let her be. But through all her cruel words and hurtful actions I still thought we could at least be cordial and remain friends...

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

Things went ok for a while after that.But true to form she suddenly built up walls and ignored me for a few weeks after that. her reason for her actions was that she did not want to get in the way of my happiness. How so very 'noble' of her. I went into depression after that. Thank God for the support of my friends and family or who knows what might have happened.

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

Time heals all wounds and I have found someone who loves me more than she ever did. In a way that has blunted all the hurt. My broken heart could only be put back together by love in it's purest form.And I have that now...

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you


I really appreciate Agnes so much more after all the shit I had to go through. I know never to take her for granted and love her with all my heart, knowing that she will love me right back!

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