ROOSTER ROMANCE

This year, Valentine’s Day happens to coincide with Chinese New Year. To help you minimize the number of, ahem, cockups in your romantic endeavours I am pleased to provide you with a list of dating dos and don’ts for the Year of the Rooster:


1. Just because it’s the Year of the Rooster doesn’t mean it’s okay to refer to women as “Chicks”.

2. If you wish to get “laid”, careful not to get egg on your face.

3. Kindly confine your comments about breasts or legs to your visits to KFC.

4. And while we’re on the subject, if you’re looking to ‘spice’ up your romance: beware the white man. The man with the white hair, white moustache and white beard wearing the all-white suit, that is. His secret blend of herbs and spices may be too much for your liking.

5. Music may be the food of love, but be careful not to talk cock sing song too much.

6. As in the barnyard, chicks aren’t necessarily impressed by big cockerels alone.

7. Choose your mate carefully. This year there’s a high chance of becoming henpecked.

8. If getting married, stick to “I do”. No need to kay kiang and say, “I cockadoodle do.”

9. The old adage stays true: “the early bird catches the worm.” But make sure you actually want a worm in the first place. Ee-yurr.

10. Have courage! It doesn’t pay to be chicken, even in the Year of the Rooster.

11. If all else fails, go Geylang to find a “kway”, lor.

FROM TALKINGCOCK.COM