Fun Things to Do In Lifts

1. Move a desk inside the lift. Wear a suit and sit at the desk. When the doors open, smile and say, “Good morning. Do you have an appointment?”

2. Say “Ding!” at every floor.

3. Use your phone camera to snap everyone who comes in, saying, “Dun mind, ah, for my blog.”

4. Whenever someone presses a button, make a sound like an explosion. (Suggested: “Chibaboom!”)

5. Make farting noises. Then glare at someone and go, “Tsk!”

6. Dress up like a devil. When people get in, smile and ask, “Going down?”

7. When someone steps in, ask, “Which floor?”, then press the wrong one.

8. Whenever the doors open, wave your hand like a Jedi Knight.

9. Meow occasionally.

10. Pick your nose conspicuously.

11. Approach everyone inside and ask whether they’ve got life insurance.

12. Bring an empty bag into the lift. Open it a little, and whisper into it, “Got enough air in there, not? You sure, ah?”

13. Wear all white, and shake everyone’s hands, saying, “More good years!”

14. Sit on the floor, hug your knees and rock back and forth, humming “Count On Me, Singapore”.

from Talkingcock.com

Top Ten Greatest Games of All Time

DOOM - HELL WAS NEVER THIS COOL!

Doom is undoubtedly one of the most influential and significant games ever created for the PC. This hellish incarnation puts you in a mosh pit of spawning demon imps and possessed marines with the fires of Hell serving as the backdrop. Doom almost single-handedly inspired the first-person shooter that remains one of the most popular genres in the scene today. This hellish beast of a game introduced id Software into the big leagues as well as welcoming the gaming world to the concept of shareware and fan-created mods. Of all its accolades, Doom has the honor of causing parents to flutter in panic at the birth of gore and violence into the gaming mainstream. That’s pop culture for you.



SUPER MARIO – A SAFE DRUG FREE ENVIRONMENT

Where else can you chase a turtle-shell dragon, run after moving mushrooms that make you grow into grotesquely giant proportions, climb up giant bean stalks that shoot out from bricks, and jump over clouds in a safe drug-free non-hippie environment than with Super Mario? Needless to say, Mario stands as one of the most iconic characters in gaming history, even if the sizzle of the 2d platform side-scroller has all but become a niche market in recent times. It’s a safe bet to say that almost any real gamer with a decent resume of ‘games-played’ would have picked up a Mario game at one point of another, and enjoyed it. It’s also a very safe bet that Mario, regardless of his iconic status, will not be the inspiration for the revival of suspenders. That’s never be cool to the masses except to hill billies. Or so I would like to condition myself to believe.

TOMB RAIDER – SHAKE WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YA!

A franchise milked beyond what Lara Croft’s ample sized bouncy twins could ever produce, this curvy adventurer remains as one of the most publicly recognized gaming heroines the world has ever known. The actual games that make up the core of the franchise are not exactly ground breaking stuff, but they do support the bootylicious Lara Craft and her induction into pop culture more than her skimpy attire does. Millions of hot-blooded males lapped it all up. Millions of women questioned the anatomical impossibilities. But with two block buster movies under her belt, a comic book spin-off, books, posters, toys, infinite bedroom private role-plays, and countless more, Lara Croft is undoubtedly pop culture’s polygonal darling.

COUNTERSTRIKE - TAKE THAT #%@$ DOWN!

Counterstrike, more affectionately known simply as CS, is the single reason that has brought about the onslaught of the pseudo geek army from the underground to the public eye. CS is the computer game that almost single handedly generated enough multiplayer interest to its name to inspire countless aspiring clones…or ‘entrepreneurs’ as they would like to be called, to set up LAN shops in infinite nooks and crannies across the globe until you couldn’t get away from the horrendous saturation of such shops everywhere. It goes down in gaming history as the undisputed prince of popularity when it comes to MODs. No other game has as many gaming leagues and geek clans formed in the honour of mastering the game to the point of point-and-click precision. CS has firmly integrated itself into pop culture with its unwavering presence, because anyone who hasn’t been living in a cave for the past five years would have heard of it.

TETRIS – LINE UP IN AN ORDERLY FASHION!

How about Tetris? The game that launched thousands upon thousands of clones and remains the God of the puzzle genre. Created by a Russian programmer named Alexey Pajitnov with countless variations and remakes later, Tetris never gets boring. Whoever thought the simple idea of connecting combinations of four jointed squares into horizontal lines could be so fun? Ask anyone you know and chances are they have had a go at the game. That Russian fella obviously had great insight!



STREET FIGHTER II – JOIN THE FIGHT CLUB!

Shoryuken! (…an impaling fireball shoots from my my eagle-spread hands!). Take that you stupid brute!

In 1991, Capcom released Street Fighter II, a one-on-one 2d fighting game that caused a revolution and altered the gaming industry forever. With the games mindblowing success, countless fighting game clones have been produced that used the general (and sometimes entirely copied) fighting concept of Street Fighter II with mixed results. The game was the first to introduce a larger number of playable characters, each with their own distinguishable moves and special abilities. In most arcades across the world, one-vs-one fighting games still make up the core of the machines. Ten years on and Street Fighter is still the true King of Fighters, so to speak. Fighting in ridiculously ill-advised skimpy costumes and shouting weird verbal assaults has never been cooler. Not to mention the silly nonsensical Japanese-to-English translations that are a trademark of any good fighting game.

FINAL FANTASY – THAT NEVER ENDS!

Final Fantasy stands as one of the longest running and most successful gaming franchises since the days of the old Nintendo consoles to its heyday when it first hit the Playstation and then over to the Playstation 2. You know a game has great street credibility when movie producers are willing to fork up big bucks to pump out a blockbuster movie in its name. That is exactly what happened with the release of the major blockbuster movie, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in 2001. Final Fantasy, particularly with the release of the eighth installment of the series, has been welcomed into the halls of Pop Culture greats by showing just how cool and creatively stunning those Japanese folks really can be. Having spiky hair, androgynous looks, and an ambiguous racial heritage is all the hype here.

PAC-MAN – A SLICE OF THE ACTION!

Genius is often discovered in the unlikeliest of places. It’s almost ticklish to know that the idea of one of the most recognized video game icons came about from a partially eaten pizza. Its creator was simply staring at a pizza with one eaten piece from it. The light bulbs flickered on, and Pac Man was born. Pac Man is a great example that shows how simplicity is often the key to success. The concept? Running ghosts existing solely for the reason of eating poor anatomically-challenged Pac ‘Man’ alive, who in turn only existed to eat little dots across the screen because…well, they never gave him a reason why he had to do it. Poor fella.

Brilliantly addictive and easily recognized, Pac Man may have experienced infinite deaths at the hands of these vicious goggled-eyed oddly shaped ghosts, but will remain forever alive and partially eaten in the eyes of gamers and pop-culture alike.

THE SIMS – IT’S MY LIFE!

The best selling game of all time. That’s how much a part of culture The Sims has become. With countless expansion packs and re-issues, the Sims allowed your average Joe or Mary to take control of their lives and attempt to shape it up as they see fit. The game gave gamers the ability to create characters from scratch and take control of the decisions (and mundane tasks) that were required to make their customized Sim have a happy and fulfilled life (and satisfy the desires of the sadistic whose sole aim is to see their Sims piss their pants in the presence of their crushes…ok, I admit. I was one of those sadists.). The Sims, with its huge international sales, truly reflects on our pop culture and our wanting to take control of our lives and to make more active decisions in determining our own fates. It isn’t just a game that simulated life. Oftentimes the lines were blurred and it became a game that life should be like.

GRAND THEFT AUTO – YOU TALKING TO ME PUNK?!

Grand Theft Auto is a direct, if not slightly exaggerated, comment on the state of violence and crime in our society, and how slicing a man’s head off with a katana isn’t that big a deal. If Doom introduced graphical violence to the masses, Grand Theft Auto bathed in the blood of the whole premise of it. It is as much an influence on the impressionable youths of our pop culture as it is a strong statement about our tolerance and acceptance of over-the-top violence. The game is littered with derogatory racism and glamourization of gangster-ism, and to top it all off; the game design and execution definitely falls easily in place as one of the best ever made. Many find themselves haplessly addicted to the idea of inflicting painful revenge on all those who oppose. Resistance is futile!

How to be Katie Holmes:

She rose from forgettable Dawson’s Creek alumnus and C-List actress to become Mrs Tom Cruise-to-be and hot Hollywood property -- all in the space of three months. We look at how Katie got there.

1. Profess a crush on one of today’s biggest earning stars and reveal there was a poster of him on the bedroom wall.

2. Forget all Catechism class teachings and start getting serious about Scientology, a religion based on the teachings of a science fiction writer.

3. Carry out a complete wardrobe overhaul. Ditch proper dresses and the jeans-cardigan-sensible shoes look for sexy dresses and superstar extra-large shades.

4. Be willingly whisked away to Rome for a romantic téte a téte, and have 40 Armani dresses plonked down for picking to attend a glitzy awards show on the same night. Bummer!

5. Develop a sudden affinity for lots of camera lenses and popping flashbulbs in the face. Not to mention possible blindness.

6. Smile gracefully and mouth “I love you” on a TV talk show when boyfriend goes completely berserk and jumps on a couch, yelling that he loves you.

7. Patiently dismiss all accusations that the romance is a publicity stunt. So what if both your movies don’t turn out to be summer blockbusters after all the money it took to make them?

8. Kiss your man so much -- and so often -- that unsightly cold sores break out like a rash.

9. Continuously bend over slightly or tilt the head at awkward angles to kiss/ pose for pictures/ laugh at jokes/ maintain tender gazes with your man. Realise this could go on until your hair is white and you have three teeth left but happily accept that fate.

10. Be dragged to the top of the Eiffel Tower at 1am and have a massive honker of a diamond ring slid onto the all-important fourth finger of the left hand.

Pictures from London

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair said it was "reasonably clear" there had been a series of terrorist attacks. He said it was "particularly barbaric" that it was timed to coincide with the G8 summit. He is returning to London.


people trapped on the underground system.


picture of passengers leaving an underground train in a tunnel near Kings Cross.

In the slipstream of consciousness

- London wins the bid to host the 2012 Summer Olympics. Yayyyyy!
Well done. Of course someone thinks it has something to do with the Iraq War. The very same person also thinks that London got the vote because all the Commonwealth nations voted them in.
It would be too easy to rebutt some lame-ass comments so I will not.
London won simply because they made the better bid. On the other hand Paris had the bragging rights in the bag and they screwed it up(again!). The IOC members saw that the Paris bid was all sizzle and little steak. So maybe they can try for the 2016 Olympics. Maybe then they might get their act together and actually win. I think even fate would be kind to them,imagine losing 4 bids in a row!

On a sad note, London's underground was bombed today! I guess timing is everything and it showed today. It was done to maximum effect as the culprits knew that all eyes were on London after the announcement the day before and the start of the G8 Summit. Well those fuckers can go to hell! I hope Bush and Blair hunt you down and kick your asses. But I know that will never happen. The war against terrorism is far from over by the looks of it.

Agnes wants to hear what I had to say about her. I did a posting about what I love about her, and she clamours to hear the negative side of the coin. Go figure. I guess she thrives on negativity. But not being one to deny her the pleasure,I will get around to doing a posts on the things I hate/detest about her. Should be fun. I came up with all sorts of 'out-there' things about Agnes that I 'hate'.

The price of a Piccy has risen! So I think it is timely to look at other cars too. Since the gap in prices has narrowed. So I might as well look for something a bit more pricey since the difference is not much based on today's price list.

Agnes is back from her trip up north. And there are lotsa tales to tell. Most significantly the tumble she took in the shower and how I drove up to see her on the 2 nights she was in JB.

Had a rather good dinner with the gang at Larissa Cafe yesterday.

Wee Ling has gone over to the lab. Agnes is so blue. I guess you can say they are the best of friends. Why did it have to come to this? Silly actually...

I feel after our JB rendezvous, Agnes and myself have grown even closer (if that is even possible). We are so in love and inseparable that it is crazy!

Agnes brought fruits and stuff back with her from her Malaysia trip. Hasli got tea. I swipped some of the teas and a box of dried strawberries. My folks got tea, a whole lot of fruits, strawberry biscuits and stuff. Of course the ones I am most looking forward to are the scented candles she bought...*wink*

The G8 Summit is now on and the leaders from the 8 most powerful nations will meet to tackle issues like global warming and African poverty

Movies I wanna watch:
Fantastic Four
Sin City
Crash
The Island
Stealth

Bloglitics. by Kenny Sia

(also known as easy steps to a successful blog):

Having blogged for so long, here are some of the things I've learnt thus far.

Bloglitics = Blog politics. It is inevitable. Anything you do or write will be used against you. Whatever you put on your blog, there's ALWAYS people out there who will be offended.

What can you write on your blog?

If you write about your daily life, people will say that your daily life is very boring.

If you don't write about your daily life, people will say that you have no life.

If you post photos of yourself in your blog, people will say you are an attention-seeking bitch.

If you don't post photos of yourself in your blog, people will say you're an ugly-looking anonymous coward hiding behind the computer screen.

If you post Photoshopped photos of yourself in your blog, people will say you are fake.

If you post un-Photoshopped photos of yourself in your blog, people will say you cause infertility.

If you link and write good things about other bloggers, people are gonna say you're an ass-kisser.

If you link and write bad things about other bloggers, people are gonna say you're just jealous.

If you praise Singaporean girls, people are gonna think you're putting down Malaysian girls.

If you defend Malaysian girls, people are gonna think you have something against Singaporean girls.

If you write about your conservative lifestyle, people will say you're a right-wing evangelising religious nut trying to force other people to lead your lifestyle.

If you write about your liberal lifestyle, people will say you're a sex-crazed attention-seeking exhibitionist slut who enjoys baring your titties on the Internet.

If you post photos of pretty girls on your blog, no matter how pretty you think they are, there will ALWAYS be people out there who say they're ugly.

If you write jokes on your blog, people will say you're not funny.

If you write satirical jokes on your blog, there will ALWAYS be someone who don't get it and turn all angry and upset over it.

If you create a personality quiz on your blog in the name of fun, people will say your readers have no personality.

If you have ads on your blog, people will say you're selling out.

If you don't have ads on your blog, people will say you're stupid for not trying to make easy money.

If you leave your comments and site address on other blogs, people will say you're site-whoring.

If you get featured in the newspaper because of your blog, people will say you're a fame whore.

If you reject the newspaper's request for an interview, people will say you're a stuck-up bitch.

If you write socio-political blogs, people will say you are boring.

If you don't write socio-political blogs, people will say you are infantile.

If you write in perfect English, people will say you're a hao-lian elitist.

If you write in casual colloquial English, people will say you cannot write at all.

If you write about Malaysian issues, people will say you're trying to imitate Jeff Ooi.

If you rant and diss using words like 'dipshit' and 'dumbfucks', people will say you're trying to imitate Maddox.

And if you write an entry like this, people will say you're trying to imitate mr brown.

If you follow these simple rules, then I can assure you that you're well on your way to bloglitically-correct superstar-dom.

Love The One You Are With

If you're tired and confused
And you don't remember who you're talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby, sweetheart, sugar's so far away

chorus
And there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love
Honey, love the one you're with (that's right)
Love the one you're with

Do do do do do do do do it x3

Turn your heartache right into joy
She's a girl and you're a boy
Get it together
Make it tonight
You aint gonna need any more advice

(chorus)

Gotta do something, the nights really jumping so love
Don't mind the feeling, it's not like you're falling in love
Hugging and kissing when you're love is missin love
Can't do no harm if it's only one night and you're in
My man, go ahead on
Find somebogy, get somebody
Love will still be right here when you get home
For a night, get the love
The eagles flying with the dove
And if you can't be in love
With the one you love
Just love the one you're with

Always & Forever

Always and forever
Each moment with you
Is just like a dream to me
That somehow came true, yeah

And I know tomorrow
Will still be the same
Cuz we got a life of love
That won't ever change and

Everyday love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together
Ooh baby, I'll always love you forever

Ever, ever, ever
There'll always be sunshine
When I look at you
It's something I can't explain
Just the things that you do
If you get lonely
Call me and take
A second to give to me
That magic you make and